I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
