My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
