Non-Jews are for practice
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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