as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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