you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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