He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My vagina just recognized that song.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
