I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
