he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
