his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
