Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
