Got a toothbrush?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
