Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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