3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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