Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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