dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You can't motorboat a personality
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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