new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My life is pants optional.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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