I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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