yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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