ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My pussy is not your playground.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
