At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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