He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
