That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize