it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
