We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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