roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I could make wine with my vomit
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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