Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i out mim tonsoeep
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