if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Even my vagina gasped.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize