i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
