I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
