I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
