she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
