Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
My feet surprised me
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