The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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