so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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