I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
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