Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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