how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
