His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
