im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
