Sponge bath it is.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Will exercising make me less horny?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
