Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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