season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I am naked and annoyed.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
