Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
splinters make it hard to masturbate
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
