I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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