I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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