Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
