Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
