i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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