my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize