the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize