I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
