stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
now i know why i became what i already was.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you will always have a special place in my vag
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
