Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
