so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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