i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
