I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize