Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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