You work out of a Hotel?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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