very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
